Today is important. Because it is happening NOW.
Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is yet to come.
I have tried to capture that emotion in this poem.
Today is important. Because it is happening NOW.
Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is yet to come.
I have tried to capture that emotion in this poem.
We humans are such funny animals.
We battle with ourselves to impress other people.
We hold back our thoughts thinking what if this isn’t the smartest thing that came out from me? I’ll be considered dumb!
When we see others projecting themselves to be ‘really smart’ can I atleast stand a chance?
What if in that group conversation I send a text and suddenly the hot conversation till now stalls, goes cold?
And if I don’t say something smart while talking to my crush this might turn out to be my last conversation?
Oh, the anxiety! And so much of it!
The feelings, the emotions are being buried deep within the layers and layers of anxiety and self-doubt.
Our thoughts are not ours anymore. They are just perception of image of the world we have borrowed from other people, to impress them.
We want to make sure that whenever we next talk to them we make them feel satisfied, happy. Not by telling a joke but by fulfilling their need to listen what they want to listen.
Are we too afraid to be ourselves?
If we kept juggling with this thought that we might lose those people if we don’t fit to their standards then we will lose our own standard before we even snap out of that bubble.
We have created this unnecessary need for validation of our existence in others’ life. And we have forgotten the importance of existing for ourselves!
Why do we think we need the Validation Stamp when we don’t?
A king announces grand celebrations across his kingdom to celebrate his win in the war. He distributes precious gifts to the poor. An old man walks up to the king and hands him two pendants. ‘What are these?’, asks the king. The old man replies, ‘Open this one on the happiest day of your life and the second one when you feel everything is lost. Each one will help you sail through the happy and tough times’, and walks away.
The king is anxious and feels that no other day than today can be the happiest day in his life. So he pops open the first pendant and pulls out a tiny piece of paper and reads. Suddenly, his happy face turns sad. Four words.
THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
Years pass by. The king fights many wars and captures many kingdoms. Until one day when he is defeated terribly. He loses more men than he lost in the wars till now. His dream of becoming an emperor shatter. His kingdoms are taken away and his princes die too.
It feels like the end of the world. He feels he has lost everything and maybe he should embrace death before death engulfs him.
Then he remembers the old man and his words, ‘and the second one when you feel everything is lost.’
Hidden in a small box somewhere in his chamber the king finds the pendant after hours of searching. He grabs the pendant still lying there. His last hope, his saviour. He opens the pendant. There’s a tiny piece of paper inside. He pulls it out and reads. Tears well up his eyes and a smile appears on his face. Four words.
THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
Tough times are upon us.
We will sail through them.
With some scratches and wounds
but we will come out of it soon.
‘What kind of love do you want?’
‘Love has got kinds?’
‘well, I don’t know… Maybe one that’s both ways?’
‘Yeah..it’s difficult to find both-ways kinda love you know’
‘people don’t have guts to be loyal and committed…they will bail on you the moment they get some temporary satisfaction.. of-course they don’t realize the temporary part of it.. and that’s sad.’
‘maybe they aren’t satisfied completely in their present relation?’
‘well define satisfaction then? Actually… don’t. What’s satisfaction man? There isn’t greatest satisfaction than finding your loved one sleeping beside you every morning. Satisfaction is the smell of their clothes clinging on to yours. It is the little they do for you and you do for them. How you perceive satisfaction defines your character in a relationship.’
‘Well maybe some people give a lot of love but don’t get enough in return? So they aren’t satisfied and they start looking for love somewhere else…’
‘The people you are talking about aren’t people we are talking about right now. We are talking about the people who their partners have already bailed on. Don’t ask them what’s going wrong! Ask them how was it before? When did it start going wrong? These are hurt people. They once had the both-ways love. They weren’t looking for satisfaction..they were looking for love in return of love. But it all went to drain at some point of time. And you know every relation has their peak points and tipping points..my only question is this.. if you enjoyed every second during your peak point why do you decide to bail during the tipping point? Why don’t you wait just for a second, calm yourself down, breathe, and think what’s happening, why did it happen, and is their a chance to set it right? And you know what the answer to that last question most of the time is?’
‘Yes… It’s YES’
‘You’re right…stop repeating now’
‘I bailed…and I’m sorry.’
‘What was it?’
‘What was what?’
‘Expectations or satisfaction? Relations fall apart if the first one is high and other ones low. What was it for you?’
‘The first one I guess…?’
‘You guess? You aren’t sure?’
‘How can you decide to end a relation on the basis of just a guess?’
‘Oh god! why does confusion always leads people only towards wrong decision!’
‘I am glad I have someone like you…mature…someone who understands things on a deeper level…’
‘….and you think equally shallower’
‘so…let’s……….. wanna watch a movie?’
‘you hate it’
They walked on the wet sidewalk. The rain had thankfully stopped after the downpour since morning. The street lights formed blurry reflections beneath their steps. The night was silent. Only three-four people here and there.
They hesitated but put their fingers in each others’…just like the first time. There was a little tear in the eyes…
‘I guess the parameters should change…’
‘Low expectations and high satisfaction in whatever we have…’
‘I guess so…’
Have you ever read a poem
Have you ever smelt a flower
Have you ever looked out a glass window
And saw nothing but black?
Then how could you meet a person
who has no feelings?
Her legs stumbled
And her eyes couldn’t
focus on the road ahead.
Her head felt heavy
At the same time.
For people passing by
she acted perfectly sober.
Because there were none passing.
So she zig-zagged through the way,
Stopped for a moment,
Stretched her eyes and thought
‘Just a few steps more’
Somehow, she had to reach
She wasn’t testing her limit
Why was she out?
At such hour of the night?
There was a phone call.
And she made a promise
To be there.
To give company.
She would’ve chosen
To get a slumber sleep
But even she didn’t know
She was in love.
She took a sip of tea
And poured the rest in the bushes.
And it was not because
she didn’t like the tea.
But maybe because she was angry?
She stood by the sidewalk
Scrolling on her phone.
Then a group startled her
The phone slid
And broke the glass.
Later she thought
If only I hadn’t been here
To meet him
My dear phone would’ve been
The story is incomplete
So are these lines.
Except the one at the end.
It was in the early days of my second year when I heard someone say that Christopher Nolan will be coming to IIT Bombay’s annual fest. I took the burden of carrying that message to every person I would meet on my way to the hostel room. I would stop them, initiate the conversation with some day-to-day topics and smartly insert one question,
“Do you know who’s coming to IITB’s fest as a chief guest?”
The answer was obviously, “No”, followed by, “Who’s coming?”
The curiosity seed would be sowed inside my fellow chatter by then. A smirk would make its way on my face, a pride while I answered their curiosity laden question.
As much excitement I showered into those two words, I expected their eyes to widen and their mouth to make a big Whoooaaaahh! But none of that happened. Instead they shot another question towards me,
Now people, this is the moment when the excitement on my face would drain away within a flash, so quick, that it won’t even require one whole second. Then, as a protocol, I would stare at them for a few seconds and ask,
“You don’t know who Christopher Nolan is?”
Next step. Time to leave. But with a face, with an expression which clearly showcased that, from the moment the person said “Umm.. Noo”, I started considering them inferior.
The truth was quite the opposite. Let me confess.
The way I asked the question, the way they replied, the way I would react to their reply and then walk out of the conversation all of a sudden, was all planned. The blunt truth was I too didn’t know who Christopher Nolan was. But later, when my interest increased into Hollywood movies, I found out.
With his every movie I got to know more and more about him. Each of his new release would excite me like a child after seeing ice-cream. Today, I feel so exhilarated that I got a chance to sit just a few feet away and listen to the same man whom I faked to know a few years back. I never even thought that Nolan would visit India let alone watching him live, which by the way, would be into the deepest layer of my dreams.
But last weekend proved that anything is possible in life. Film Heritage Foundation, the foundation working desperately for a cause we all should be worried about, brought greatest dignities from around the world who believe in this cause and are willing to be a part of it.
During the early years of cinema there were no digital cameras like today. And celluloid films were used to shoot the picture. The beauty of this medium was it gave the spectrum of visuals so beautifully that it can’t be matched even with today’s digital technology. But, with time and with the evolving technology, films started going out of the picture. Except few dedicated film-makers no one even considered to use this medium.
In India, 99% of the silent era films have been lost. The task is to preserve whatever is left and save this medium from becoming extinct. And who else than Christopher Nolan himself! Who still uses celluloid to shoot his films. In India, the founder of Film Heritage Foundatioin Mr. Shivendra Singh Dungarpur, we can say, has stood up as the ‘Savior of films’ during the crisis. His never-ending efforts for this cause since 2014 attracted two of the world’s best artists – Tacita Dean and Christopher Nolan.
The event not only gave Nolan’s huge fans like me to listen him live but also created awareness about the cause they are fighting for. Today’s generation youth aren’t aware of celluloid let alone its importance. And, let me tell you, FHF has succeeded in spreading the much needed awareness among the youth.
From watching Interstellar the way it was intended to be seen, to listening to these great people talk about the future of film, last weekend was an experience.
Today, I don’t leave the conversation all of a sudden if the person I’m talking to doesn’t know who Christopher Nolan is. Instead, I ask them to sit and tell them who he is, why his every movie is special, how it was shot, why celluloid is important, and the thousand ways they can kill themselves because they didn’t know any of these things before.
And then there would come a day
when, on the golden sand,
been kissed every other second
by the salty water,
Our fingers twined in each others’,
beneath the soft crystal-like granules,
The orange blush of the goodbye sun
dripping on the edges of your honey skin
and jet black hair,
Our feet, partially drenched into the wet sand,
the gloss on your lips glistening mildly,
as it’s gentle curve hides behind the
golden brown hair strand, busy in performing an elite salsa
back and forth in smooth swings.
Those sea-full of brown eyes resting their shyness on some
nonexistent point, somewhere between the horizon
and your half-visible feet,
That dome-shaped silver earrings
swinging dramatically slow – giving a quick-witted response
to the eastern cold breeze.
That would be the day,
when I would, confidently, grip your hand
with a firm clench,
attend your eyes with a trust as heartening as it was
during our first conversation.
And ask you to look at the everyday, never-ending
romance between the sun and the horizon,
hold your crested chin,
turn your face towards mine, and,
before the eastern winds dare to interrupt,
pull you so close that your heaving breath
would be clearly audible,
and, in that rapid turn of events,
hold up your left hand,
and notice the extent of surprise and happiness
in your watery eyes,
as they witness the glistening edges of the silver ring
I pushed into your finger to make you mine – Forever.
After a dreary day with a heavy bag and a hunched back, I finally came home. The moment I had been waiting for since the afternoon welcomed me with a broad smile. Sleep deprived eyes, continuous dabbling fingers, and a painful back were about to get their well-deserved gift – REST.
I threw the shoes, pulled out the socks, unbuttoned my shirt and unzipped the pants, all in a matter of seconds. Like a quick montage in a film. A splash of cold water worked like a reset button for my mind.
There was a longing connection, a profound love between my body and the bed, like that of rain and earth. When one called the other had to come.
Just before the body could embrace its love, the eyes noticed a diary sitting alone on the desk, wondering where it’s only companion, the pen, had disappeared and not returned yet. They now sparked and twinkled, they woke up my passion. The diary would finally serve its purpose. A story was on its way. This was the day I would defeat my inner enemy – procrastination.
I got up as quickly as I could. Again a series of montages kicked in. Drawers, pen holder, bag, pencil box, one after another rapid successions of images revealed just one thing – it revealed nothing. The mighty writing instrument hid itself somewhere in the dark corner.
I took my previous position on the bed, ready to dive into the deepest sleeps, and scanned the whole room with my tired eyes. Turning the room upside down I had done half the CBI’s work single-handedly.
A dissatisfied sigh left with my breath and I let my body hug the bed. Just then my head felt like being hit by some hard, stick like stuff. Too tired to wake up and check, I grabbed the ‘thing’ and pulled it out all while lying and discovered what it was. I glanced at the pen and then at the room as I woke up. I could feel the piercing look of the diary staring at me and at the pen between my two fingers. A hundred thoughts, a dying story, and an unforgettable character were screaming to be penned down on those milky white pages ready to soak the ink forever. I glanced at the diary, closed my eyes, took a deep breath and recalled – I would defeat my inner enemy today!
I stretched my hand and gently placed the pen on the diary, switched off the lights, let my body embrace its love and my eyes dive into the deepest sleep.
As the night lurked towards the peak of its darkness encompassing the silence, filled with whispering hiss and fuming fog, the world slept – unaware.
While they slept a dreamy sleep, it was arising, spreading rapidly like a forest fire. Bound to kill the humanity and a fatal weapon used by the inhumane, Chaos was born.
Chaos, unfortunately, has become a life component who everyone has unknowingly accepted to live with. It’s a complicated web getting complex each day and, like a black hole, it is sucking the living being into its complexity. What we are failing to understand is that it’s the chaos sitting in the nucleus around which all the problems revolve. And yet we are embracing it with open arms and welcoming it in our lives.
The whole world is connected together just with a single tap on a screen. Although this isn’t the ‘chaos’, but it definitely lays a foundation for the same. One bad decision, one bad day, one bad mind or one bad motive; it just requires one of these to set the fire of chaos into motion.
Terrorism is an act of one bad motive by one bad mind which eventually results to one bad day in the life of countless innocents. Chaos is unknowingly ruling this world in most unconventional forms. And it is that unconventional form which keeps it well hidden under its cover. People have become an integral part of it and, therefore, fail to spot wolf residing in their own packs.
Our, or for the matter of fact, any country’s democratic system is a humongous chaos in itself. Day by day problems are swarming in and are nowhere near to commensurate the number of solutions. Every effort made by our system gives rise to numerous for and against comments and views. The result of this for and against debate arises two groups who stringently believe their side of the debate to be true. So, from the action taken by government to the debate on an individual level, chaos stealth’s smoothly and knits itself systematically in our life.
A human is struggling on an individual level too. Every character on this earth becomes a prey for chaos at one or other point in his/her life. Our mind is occupied with so much of useless thoughts and phantasms which eventually downgrades the value of present. Everyone seems to go through a hard time or have changed drastically because of something or someone who gave them a hard time. No one can justify their behaviour but those two people and when they do its usually chaotic.
Now the question is, are we just one step away from converting the chaos into madness? I would like to share a brilliant piece of writing. An absolutely amazing wordplay –
“I have proved my point. I’ve demonstrated there’s no difference between me and everyone else! All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That’s how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day”
— Joker, Batman-The Killing Joke.
Reading this monologue, delivered by the most vicious villain ever, forces us to think hard and, surprisingly, convinces us to believe the harsh truth hidden in those lines. Observing the world, in the 21st century, we are slowly and gradually becoming slaves of master chaos. Everything that begins with an innocuous motive ends up with pernicious effects. Misconception leads us to think that it’s the people behind the effects, whereas, they are just the minions working to save themselves from the whip of chaos. Chaos is an opportunity for the people who promote it. For normal people it’s the gateway to madness.
Whenever you find yourself indignant because of someone, try to subdue your anger. Embrace patience and it will bring you out of your vexatious self. Over thinking is a way chaos can sneak in your life. Save yourself from the unaware entry and sleep with a satisfaction and belief that no one but you controls your life.
“Maybe ordinary people don’t always crack. Maybe there isn’t any need to crawl under a rock with all the other slimy things when trouble hits. Maybe it was just you all the time!”
— Batman’s response to Joker’s claim, The Killing Joke.
Try not to crawl under the rocks, stand with a puffed chest and face the problems as if you were born to do it so.
Recently I have been involved in something which I tremendously love to do – make films. The story which I first thought two months back finally was put into motion to make a short. I am posting here late but please have a look. The short film is titled ‘Talab’ which is a hindi word for ‘addiction’.
Please share if you like the film. Hope you enjoy it. Click below.