The most annoying and never ending problem for every writer is thinking about what to write next. There are lots of feelings, lots of emotions, lots of things going on inside the mind yet there is no center point around which every word will be revolving. And the idea of what to say or what I want to put in words becomes just difficult to explain.
Feelings and emotions. The most complex forms that webs us, the human beings, sometimes like a tangled rope, sometimes like an untangled one. A subtle mixture of every emotion is a recipe for a perfectly happy life or, we can say, for a perfectly balanced life. But, who’s life is perfect? No ones. Every day is a different one; every hour brings a new mystery with it. We don’t even know what has the next minute brought for us on its plate. Time is a mystery.
How we react, how we behave, what we feel depends on how we are being treated. There maybe lots of quotes on the internet, in the novels, inside your mind too, about how the only thing that should matter to you is your happiness. Doesn’t matter how people treat you or if they value your presence in their lives, you should do what you like and keep yourselves happy. But think realistically. Is this what actually happens? Even if you try to? No. Truth is miles away from those quotes. No matter how much you try to mask your feelings that hurt, no matter how much you try to convert the truth into a mystery, for everyone but you, by putting a smile on that face, inside you there’s a silence, not because you don’t feel like talking but because the actions or words of others have left you blank.
This is the truth. It may hurt or it may sound weird. But this is THE truth. Like the time, people, too, are a mystery. Each person with a different story, with a different background, with a silence inside them, too, which was because of someone else. Like a writers’ thoughts which are spread like thousand marbles on a floor and to which he can’t put into words yet somehow he finds a connection. The people you are surrounded by are the same. Everyone is different yet there is something that makes them same as you. At some point or other in their life, too, they were hurt and probably that is the reason why they have changed or treat you the way that hurts you. It’s like they have created an imaginary shell that covers their life and anyone who they think is on the verge to enter the shell they push them back, so hard that no one will give it a second chance to try again.
Despite being kicked numerous times there exist some people who just keep trying to convince the other person that they along with their partner will take care of that shell. These people are like an ant that struggles to climb a wall but falls down every time. Still it doesn’t give up until it has reached it’s destined place. Getting hurt has become the part of their life. It is the single most dominant emotion ruling their life every day. Each day is a mystery. One happy, other sad, next disappointing. Yet they fight, against their emotions. They struggle to convert that sad emotion into a happy one. They constantly try to unravel the mystery of why they are being treated the way they don’t deserve. They try, tenderly, to unmask the fake smile and know the tearful mystery behind it. They try, desperately, to love the other person on the cost of losing their selves. Still, they try, unlike the other ones who push.
These people, maybe they are like those marbles spread on the floor, the center point that connects us to them are the emotions that burst inside us after their silence creates its twin inside us. The only thing you can do is love them like the sky loves clouds, like the birds love songs, love them until they love you back.